I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
