and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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