i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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