I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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