I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
