I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
