I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
