tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
