Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
