I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You are a genius and a whore.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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