woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just sent this text using only my big toe
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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