It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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