When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
