Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
