some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
