i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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