so that wasnt chicken after all
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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