I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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