so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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