Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
