Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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