Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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