This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
