Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
