he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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