remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
