Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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