She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
That reminds me...we need to get swords
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
