You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
