i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
