on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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