I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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