y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I CAN MOONWALK!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
