Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
