WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
