you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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