So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
