And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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