Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
