my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
