a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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