When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
