No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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