I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize