Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
