STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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