I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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