I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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