You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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