Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
