U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
