VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
