I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize