Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
BRING THE BAGELS
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
