I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
