There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
