foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
