using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
