We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
