The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
