can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can you bring me the toilet please
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
